The Futures Academy

Marriage is not about how much love you have at the start, but how much love you build until the end. A marriage should be healthy, caring, loving, kind, upbeat, and positive. Here are our top 5 tips for a successful marriage:

1. To thine own self be true

Each marriage partner is imperfectly perfect. Learn to respect and acknowledge the feelings of your spouse and you will know when it is the time to speak or to remain silent. Sometimes just having a listening ear is more important than hearing words of advice. Share your deepest thoughts, dreams, hopes, needs and wishes. Open communication and honesty is vital to healthy relationships. Through your actions, know that when others think of fairness, integrity and reliability, they think of you.

2. Support each other in good times and in bad

Always be there through the good, bad, happy and sad times. Be willing to provide a listening ear, a hug, and emotional support in all circumstances. Trust that you can count on each other and be available not only when it’s convenient, but when you need each other the most. Always have each others back. And man – always get your lady some anniversary gifts for her – she may not remember each present you get her but she will remember when you don’t get her one!

3. Spend quality time together

With life’s pressures, we often forget to relax and enjoy the great company we have. Make time for just the two of you once a week. Do something fun. Spend time together talking, going on dates, and making each other laugh. Shared laughter can make a good relationship great.

Appreciate how amazing your spouse is. Celebrate their accomplishments and encourage their ambitions and goals. Celebrate your joint achievements too, particularly each wedding anniversary when you can show your love and appreciation with time together and the exchange of thoughtful gifts.

4. Settle disputes peacefully

If you have a misunderstanding or a conflict, gently discuss the situation without blaming your beloved for what you think they should, ought or needed to have done differently. Defuse the situation with humor and affection and concede on certain points your partner makes. Forgive not just because your partner deserves forgiveness, but because you deserve peace.

When you feel anger surging up and you want to yell a vulgar retort, say nothing and walk away until you are calm again.

5. Love and respect yourselves as individuals

Don’t rely on your spouse for your happiness and self-respect. Only you can be responsible for that. If you can’t love and respect yourself, no one else can be expected to.
Accept your character assets and defects completely. Make the changes in your life that you know are right for you, not because you think someone else wants you to be different.

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The gift of time

On her birthday, your anniversary or whatever your reason for wanting to surprise your wife, just don’t go to work that day and clear your diary. Don’t announce that you’ve booked a day off beforehand, just arrange it with your boss. If your wife is due to be at work, contact her boss and explain that you want to surprise your wife and are requesting a day off for her as part of the surprise. Request written confirmation as evidence for your wife. If necessary arrange child-care and spend time with your wife for the entire day.

Her ideal gift

Before the day itself, ask your wife what her ideal day would be in three different scenarios 1. that didn’t cost anything 2. that would cost the amount you’re able to spend and 3. if money were no object. Hopefully, that will put her off the scent and you’ll be able to plan a day that you know she will enjoy.

Your wife will love you for the time and effort you have put into making the day special and all about her. You will have created treasured memories for you both.

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My name is Fiona and I’ve been married to Steve for twenty years this month. Our honeymoon baby has just moved away from home, so it’s been a good time to look at how our relationship is going to be after twenty years of family life.

Neither Steve nor I want to fall into a stale, unromantic relationship where we are just fulfilling our obligations. If this were to happen, over time one of us may be requesting a divorce. In spite of hectic schedules, we’ve come up with some simple ideas to relight the romance and keep our relationship on track after all these years.

Make the ordinary, romantic

We’ll make time to eat together, turn off our phones and sit down together at a table with candles and talk about our day. It’ll also be time for us to reminisce about our years together. Remembering the times we laughed together, the silly things we did, how we felt at the very start of our relationship. We may be reminded of activities we want to repeat or places we want to visit.

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